"Facebook Is New Yahoo" Rumor Flips Out CEO Mark Zuckerberg
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Mark Zuckerberg, the well-known CEO of the Facebook social network, has been under a lot of pressure lately, which have caused shareholders and industry analysts to question his vision for the company, as did tripping over a threshold as he entered a board meeting.
With Google+ reaching 25 million users in just a few months, Mark is feeling the heat. To make things worse, Silicon Valley expert Mike Elgan recently labeled Facebook as “the new Yahoo”, which apparently sucked the last bit of confidence out of The Zuck.
“I can’t take it anymore”, he told anyone willing to listen at the Visionary CEO Boot Camp, “I can’t sleep without getting nightmares. One night there’s GroupOn zombies attacking the office, the next I’m chased by privacy lawyers, and last night my house was haunted – I kept hearing a creepy voice whining, ‘ya-hooooo…’”.
Eventually Zuckerberg decided to face his fears and headed to his favorite Palo Alto optician, Craig S. Bindi. “Mr. Zuckerberg was very, very nervous about his eye sight”, Mr. Bindi reported, “it was fortunate that my assistant Vanessa could keep him distracted with her b…, uhm, presence.”
Zuckerberg took all possible tests available in the clinic, including reading up to 317 license plates from cars passing by. At 9 PM, Dr. Bindi finally ended the tests, confirming Mark for the umpteenth time his eye sight was sufficient to spot vehicles on the moon.
Sources at Facebook report Zuckerberg seemed much more confident afterward, although he still invited an exorcist to cleanse his home from the Yahoo whisperer.