Fun in the Sun: Piranha 3D
After a particularly grueling day of video games, relaxing by the fire, and playing with my dogs and cats, I needed to unwind. My favorite method, of course, is popping a bag of Orville Redenbacher’s Kettle Corn, putting a really bad horror film in the DVD player, and throwing half the popcorn at the so-terrible-it’s-hilarious movie. Piranha 3D was a disappointment.
Is it possible to be disappointed in a good way? There must be a word for things that don’t turn out as expected, but are so much better. Maybe we need to invent a new word; how about “Piranhacal”?
The 2010 remake of Joe Dante’s classic spoof/slaughterfest, Piranha (1978), will be released on Blu-ray(“Extended Cut 2-Disc 3-D Blu-ray” and “Single Disc Blu-ray”) and DVD January 11, 2011. Seriously, what could be better in the middle of a frozen month than a beach blanket bloodbath?
It all starts with an old man, who looks suspiciously like Matt Hooper, fishing on a lake. I turned to my viewing companion, FCE, and asked, “Is that guy supposed to look like Richard Dreyfus?” Not only did the old coot look like Dreyfus, he was Dreyfus! That’s when it hits the discerning viewer, “This is gonna be a great film!”
Piranha 3D is a lascivious mix of Girls Gone Wild, Jaws, corn, camp, and vicious, super-pissed-off fish. Unlike Jaws, the action takes place within a 24-hour period; after all, something must be left for a sequel. After Richard Dreyfus makes the catch of a lifetime, there is an underwater earthquake resulting not in a tsunami but a huge vortex into which, of course, Dreyfus and his boat are sucked. Coincidentally, that same day sleazy director Derrick Jones (Jerry O’Connell) and crew are in town to make a new “Wild, Wild Girls” video. (We watched the DVD, so we did not benefit from the gigantic ta-tas in 3D.) Did I mention that it’s also spring break?Continued on the next page