I Hate You, Kelly Donahue Is Laugh-Evoking Lunacy
We’ve all had the experience. You start a new job and on the very first day, an attractive person says “hi” on the elevator and you decide right then and there that you will “physically defeat [her or him] in a physical fight to the death. Physically!” Before long, you find yourself spending the first twenty minutes of every workday staring at your adversary’s name, trying to find the hidden anagram. If your adversary is Kelly Donahue, you find “Le Leaky Hound,” which—of course—is French for “the crying dog.”
In Mark Svartz ’s hilarious book, I Hate You, Kelly Donahue, the author assumes the role of narrator (and Kelly Donahue hater) and keeper of a notebook in which he plans his victory over Kelly Donahue. Inside this spiral-bound book are handwritten notes and illustrations describing why Kelly Donahue must die, how boring she is, how revolting and evil she is, and how he’s going to send her to her grave (if, when he’s through, there are large enough remains to bury).
I Hate You, Kelly Donahue is the diary of a psychopath, but a dim-witted, juvenile one who probably couldn’t carry out his dastardly design since most of his ideas are dumb, cartoonish, or impossible. In fact, he’s so inept that the diary can’t even be considered “dark humor,” it’s more a funny shade of gray. It’s the kind of funny that has the reader laughing out loud and rereading absurd passages.
Mark Svartz incorporates social media, Wikipedia, Craigslist, Google Maps, texting, and sly references to popular culture into I Hate You, Kelly Donahue, producing a creative, relevant story that could be—if you really think about it—just a little bit creepy. Give a copy to that friend with a slightly twisted sense of humor. (Publication date: January 15, 2012)
By the way, if you decide that I (Bob Etier) am the person you must physically defeat (physically!), be warned that my name anagrams to “be or bite.” And I’m ready for you.