John Mayer Discusses Napalm Sex, Black Girls and His Penis
Serial tweeter, deep-thinker and occasional singer John Mayer decided it would be a great idea to dish on the intimate details of his sexcapades with the stars, and threw in some dumb racist remarks while he was at it. You know, just to keep things interesting.
In an interview for Playboy, John had this to say about having sex with ex-girlfriend Jessica Simpson:
"Drugs aren't good for you if you do lots of them...Yeah, that girl (Simpson) is like crack cocaine to me."
"Sexually it was crazy. That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm. Did you ever say, 'I want to quit my life and just f*****' snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f*** you, I would start selling all my s*** just to keep f****** you."
Classy AND sophisticated, what's not to love about this guy? John humps Jessica Simpson incessantly, dumps her, leaves her heartbroken, she gets fat, is ridiculed in the tabloids and then to add insult to injury, he blabs to the world about what a horn-dog she is in bed. Oh John you are such a tease.
Rest assured folks, John's brilliance doesn't stop there, he has some more pearls to share. Here's what John had to say about dating non-white girls:
"I don't think I open myself to it. My d*ck is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fu*kin’ David Duke c*ck. I'm going to start dating separately from my d*ck. …I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She’s super hot and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, ‘Yeah, I sucked his d*ck. Whatever.'"
What the f*ck is WHITE GIRL CRAZY? CRAZY has no color boundaries. What a dickhead.
It's like John Mayer was rejected endlessly as a kid. ENDLESSLY. Perhaps John was weened too soon, or didn't get enough love from his mother, or maybe someone long ago laughed at the size of his penis and he's been trying to make up for it since. Whatever it is, the dude is completely pathological and sad.