Oprah's Daytime Reign Of Terror To End In 2011
Oprah and Tom Cruise minus the couch molesting
The weeping and gnashing of teeth you hear across the land is the sound of millions of stay-at-home moms and those searching for a purpose-driven life who won't have Oprah Winfrey to tell them what to do anymore. Yes, it's true, Oprah will no longer be doing her talkshow.
According to Harpo Productions spokesperson, Don Halcombe, Oprah will be announcing her departure from her immensely popular daytime gig during Friday's show.
Don't leap from your windows yet folks, Oprah isn't stepping down until September 9, 2011, so we still have almost a full two years of sage wisdom to tide us over until we must find something else to fill the massive void Oprah's absence will leave. My heart will go on — and believe or not — so will yours. In fact, you may discover you had the ability to make wise life choices within you all along. Ok, I'll stop.
Seriously, what concerns me most isn't what the droves of zombie-like Oprah followers will do without their beloved oracle, but rather what will the crazy celebs do?
Upon whose couch will Tom Cruise leap? Whose shoulder will Jennifer Aniston cry on when she's dumped by another ill-suited mate? What about all those unknown authors who will continue being unknown without the guiding light of Oprah's book club? I fear for the world of celebrity post-Oprah. Perhaps this was what the Mayans were referring to in their apocalyptic visions of 2012.
Alas, we'll always have Ellen Degeneres — and she can dance!