Finally: Fergie Releases Low Quality Sex Tape
Well, it finally happened. Stacy "Fergie" Ferguson has let slip a sex tape. You know who Fergie is, right? She's the female vocalist of the Black Eye'd Peas (please excuse the loose usage of "vocalist" in the previous statement). She's also pretty much the sole reason that B.E.P. sucks now.
Why?
Why what?
Oh, why did she let a sex tape be released of her?
Are you really asking that question? I mean, have you even -heard- the new Black Eyed Peas stuff?
It's terrible. Remember when B.E.P. used to do good music with cool collaborations and hot beats? Now it's just an old 80's lick with a club beat and the same lyrics over and over.
Don't believe me? Here's the lyrics from the first verse of "Don't Stop the Party".
Don't, don't, don't, don't,
Don't, don't, don't, don't,
Don't, don't, don't, don't stop the party.
Don't, don't, don't, don't,
Don't, don't, don't, don't,
Stop, stop, stop,
The, the, the, don't stop the party.
Don't stop the party
Don't, don't, don't, don't,
Don't, don't, don't, don't,
Stop, stop, stop,
The, the, the, don't stop the party.
Wow. Inspired writing, for sure.
So, the video is basically her writhing around on the ground to some shitty BEP music while some body with a phone cam films her. There are hard cuts between her taking her clothes off and eventually, if you've watched enough low-bandwidth porn, you can kind of use the visual clues to figure out that you're looking at her vagina. There might be fingers in the way. I'm not sure. She plays with herself until the guy with the camera realizes he's seen enough and, presumably, leaves to bleach his eyes (and while he's at it, might as well bleach his ears as well.)
Good job remaining relevant, Fergie.
Here's the video. Be forewarned, the link is entirely not safe for work. I mean, come on, it's PORN.
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