Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren Are Done, Done, Doneski!
Serial cheater and disgraced golf legend Tiger Woods is a free man. Free to hump, bump, grind, lick, stick, suck, slurp and otherwise hobnob with his fellow ho-bags, because as of today, his divorce to Swedish model Elin Nordegren is final.
People Magazine is reporting, via a spokesperson for the couple, that they were in court today to finalize their divorce. They released a joint statement:
"We are sad that our marriage is over and we wish each other the very best for the future. While we are no longer married, we are the parents of two wonderful children and their happiness has been, and will always be, of paramount importance to both of us."
Once we came to the decision that our marriage was at an end, the primary focus of our amicable discussions has been to ensure their future well-being. The weeks and months ahead will not be easy for them as we adjust to a new family situation, which is why our privacy must be a principal concern."
Yes, privacy has always been Tiger's principal concern, so much so, that he took it upon himself to have sex with close to a dozen (and those are just the ones we know about) women who were NOT his wife over the course of his six-year marriage. Tiger, who built his brand on stellar athleticism and a wholesome image, has taken a major beating in the media after the numerous cheating allegations surfaced last fall. His reputation and brand will never be the same again.
While there are no specific figures on how much Elin will get from her divorce settlement, it was reported that her pre-nuptial agreement was renegotiated after the cheating scandal became public and it's speculated that she could receive as little as $100 million to as much $500 million — all of which she will need to treat the various STDs that scumbag may have passed on to her. Seriously, Tiger's taste in women came directly from the free clinic's black list. *shudders*
They are said to be sharing custody of their two children, Sam Alexis 3, and Charlie 1. Tiger will be back on the ho stroll in 3..2..1..