Will Charlie Sheen Get Around to Technorati?
In the annals of celebrity PR campaigns, there has never been anything quite as excessive (or deeply annoying) as that being waged by Charlie Sheen, who, during the past week or so, has spoken with . . . well, everyone.
So when the phone at this outpost rang a few minutes ago, I imagined the voice at the other end to be unmistakably that of Charlie Sheen. The conversation I fantasized was brief, catching Charlie during another of his frantic days crammed with a typically inexhaustible series of bizarre chats with broadcast, print and web outlets, agreeing to spend a little time with TECHNORATI.
TECHNORATI: “Thanks for these few minutes, Charlie. I know your interview schedule is incredibly tight.”
SHEEN: “That it is, dude. I just got off the phone with Popular Mechanics, and following you, I’ve got Dental Health Today to deal with. So let me get this straight, you write for TECHNORATI, and your name is . . .?”
TECHNORATI: “Alan Appel.”
SHEEN: “Alan? Isn’t the Hebrew name for that, Shlomo?”
TECHNORATI: “I really have no idea, but asking does beg the question about allegations raised by some that calling the Two and a Half Men creator Chuck Lorre by his Hebrew name, Chaim Levine, may be borderline anti-Semitic. How do you respond?”
SHEEN: “That’s of course ridiculous. My problems with Chuck have nothing whatsoever to do with his Hebrew name, only the measly millions per episode he pays me for the TV series. I LOVE all things Jewish, particularly the hot pastrami at Nate and Al’s deli in Beverly Hills, and by the way, dude, I have seen Exodus twice! What does that tell you?”
TECHNORATI: “I’m not really sure, but let’s go back to Two and a Half Men, which for the present has been shut down. You’ve said that you’re prepared to sue CBS for breach of contract and that, in any event, whatever happens with the show, you can always make a good living in movies.”Continued on the next page