Machete or the Good, Bad and the Ugly - Page 2
Next we had Lindsay Lohan, who may be the worst actress I have ever seen, (and I have seen plenty) playing a very true-to-life role as a wealthy, spoiled trashy, promiscuous drug-addicted bitch with a heart of stone. Not a very likable girl at all! They used a body double for the raciest scenes and that was probably due to her less than amazing physique rather than her modesty. Nobody watching the flick will be in a hurry to hire Lohan to star in their film.
Danny Trejo was excellent - the guy has a one-in-a-billion face that works wonderfully on the screen. You just can't take your eyes off him — yes he is ugly and has bags under his eyes the size of golf balls, but that man looks like trouble with a capital "T!" A perfectly cast bad-ass, he should be offered many promising roles once the right people see him in this film.
Michelle Rodriquez was really good, and Cheech Marin was entertaining as usual. Don Johnson was decent in his role as a psycho vigilante and Jeff Fahey stole the show as the Governor's aid — this guy can really act. Stevan Seagal was his usual portly self - the guy still can't act. It's always fun, however, to see what sort of clothing he will don to hide his unsightly bulging gut.
All in all, Machete somehow works as a film and was certainly entertaining, and that is all that really matters. For my money, it stands well above Stallone's The Expendables — more clever and with superior acting. Of course Machete is not serious cinema, but neither does it pretend to be. The humorous "Coming Soon, Machete Kills" in the film's credits lets us know that they know they were not trying to be overly serious with this film.