The Ambulance (1990) Will Keep You in Stitches
Upon reading, “When the woman of his dreams is snatched by a strange ambulance, Josh risks it all to find her. Looking into a series of similar disappearances involving the phantom ambulance, Josh tracks down a ring of doctors who traffic in human guinea pigs,” the synopsis of The Ambulance, I exclaimed “cool!” and conjured up nutty doctors committing unthinkable acts, experimenting on patients grabbed at random from the streets of New York.
The Ambulance is one of many titles being offered in “MGM’s Limited Edition Collection.” In March, Twentieth Century Fox introduced twenty vintage titles that utilize “manufacturing on demand,” and are offered through online retailers.
Directed by Larry Cohen, “best known as a B-movie auteur of horror and science fiction films” (Wikipedia), The Ambulance boasts a cast that includes Eric Roberts, James Earl Jones, Red Buttons, Janine Turner, Megan Gallagher, Eric Braeden, and Spiderman’s dad, Stan Lee. Maybe including Stan Lee in the cast was a tip-off of what was in store for the audience.
The Ambulance is one of the goofiest films I’ve seen, and I deeply regret watching it alone—this is a film that is meant to be shared. Eric Roberts stars as Josh, an illustrator at Marvel Comics who wants desperately to meet Cheryl (Janine Turner). Josh is all big hair and acid-washed denim (this was 1990). He also needs a few pointers on how to pick up women.
Judging by the plot, you’d think The Ambulance was a horror film. It isn’t…the script and screenplay are heavily seasoned with somebody’s idea of humor, and although it may not be everyone’s, it’s still pretty darn funny. Writers must have been having fun with lines like Eric Braeden’s “I just like to touch human skin through surgical gloves,” and Janine Turner’s “I’ve met creepier guys than you, I just don’t remember when.” Eric Braeden’s role was relatively small, but he had the best lines, at one point telling the kidnapped Cheryl, “You’ll be in perfect health before you die.”
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