The Dark Knight Rises: For those who Rent & Those Who Want to Relive

Author: Barbara Wilcox
Published: August 17, 2012 at 8:26 am
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For the dollar movie goer, the waiting-to-rent set, or the wanting to commiserate/commemorate. The third series in Nolan's long-awaited "Dark Knight" Trilogy is slightly ridiculous. Something about how the 7th inning stretches into the 13th and it's East v. West pro-Gotham-anda rivals "Rocky IV" harder than Ivan Drago himself. But the ending? Awesome. Especially if you have a Gotham sized crush on Joseph Gordon-Levitt (guy from "500 Days of Summer") who plays Blake, police officer turned vigilante. From the absurdly grandiose to the politically poignant, "The Dark Knight Rises" rises from its own bat shit and, honestly, kicks some serious mask.

By far, the best 2 halves have to be ... the best 2 pieces of ass. Forgive the objectification. However, Anne Hathaway (Selina/Cat Woman) is so kick-ass, it's okay that she's a hot piece of one. Being, ahem, a progressive woman myself, I don't care if you're the semi-objectified female sex symbol of the film. Ride that bat mobile, baby. Ride it. Just break some prisoner's wrists via cartwheel (Gabby Gold style). And don't forget the smart one-liners.

Gordon-Levitt--{ SPOILER! }--(Blake/Robin) is also hot. Atomically hot. His boyish frame (hot) turned buff 5-oh (also hot) is actually believable. Because his character straddles the tough authoritarian, empathetic humanitarian, and fuck-off vigilante, Gordon-Levitt has the eye gazes and the acting range to pull-off this depth. That 2 riskily cast characters pull off their ass-kicking personas seamlessly (and sexily), seriously gives this film some cred.

And then there's the 13-offs that don't. You can thank 3 of the main characters, 1 of the returning characters, and 2 of the wtf characters for almost half of this. Christian Bale. Hot, too. But is the bat suit's mystique and superpowers contingent upon those 2 delicate lips staying agape? I don't get it. And Cotillard, who plays Miranda, the benefactor-turned-board-member, uses accents like they're underwear. She has one for (almost) every day of the week. I'm confused. Also, Nolan might have infringed upon the rights to "Street Fighter 2". Remember the hulking, pile-driving, U.S.S.R. designee Zangief??? That's Bane, played by Tom Hardy. ...Also hot. But not in this film. Unless suspenders and spider legs are your thing. Which, in that case, I'm confused.

So let's talk Ra's al Ghul. Wha??? Allow me to clarify. Let's talk about Liam Neeson. Or rather, allow me to address him directly. Neeson. How many times in how many films are you going to say the word, "Taken"? Is it a contractual thing? ...Am I going to be taken? We all are? ... Know what. Doesn't matter. You're Liam Neeson. You say it. I believe it. Done.

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Article Author: Barbara Wilcox

I am not your typical Barbara Ellen. Read my editorials on Technorati. Find everything else on Barbara Ellen Writes. Read Me. Follow Me. Like Me. Share Me. That's all I'd like you to do to me. XO.

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