A Big, Fat Mike Huckabee Christmas
Above is a Christmas family portrait of presidential candidate Republican Mike Huckabee. I don't typically make fun of people just for being fat, but I will make fun of them for being total assplows. Having said that, Mike Huckabee and his big, fat and seemingly "special needs" son in the middle there are both total assplows.
Maybe you weren't aware of Mike Huckabee and his bid to drive this country into the stone ages prior to the Iowa Caucuses? Well don't feel bad. In a perfect world, Mike Huckabee would have remained hidden in his world of bigotry and hatred and leave us normal people alone. But, since we are in the midst of a presidential campaign all sorts of creepy crawlies are coming out of the floorboards, and it is our personal duty to do the Mexican hat dance and squash their skittering asses.
Perez Hilton has done his part to expose this filthy gutter-dweller for what he is, and since the mainstream media refuses to do their part now, I guess it's up to us "bloggers" to do the dirty work.
Let's break it down:
While governor of Arkansas, Huckabee pardoned convicted rapist and murderer Wayne Dumond in 1999, after he was found guilty of killing a 17-year old girl. Dumond went on to kill and rape another woman in 2003. So much for his Republican stance on violent criminals.
Huckabee hates gays, always has, always will:
Quote: Huckabee on homosexuality,"an aberrant, unnatural and sinful lifestyle."
Thinks people with AIDS should be quarantined from the rest of the population:
Quote: We should "isolate the carriers of this plague."
Mike's son, David Huckabee is a doofus with a penchant for breaking the law and torturing animals. Back in April, while his dad was launching his bid for president, David was arrested to trying to board a plane in Little Rock with a loaded Glock. David claimed, "It was a silly mistake" and when asked if this would affect his dad's campaign, he replied "It shouldn't."
Yes it should you jackass. I don't try and board planes with loaded Glocks and pretend it was a silly mistake, and neither should you, you moron.
Oh, and what about that pesky dog torture case. Let's not mention that while we are patting old Mike on the back for his win in Iowa, no, we wouldn't want the mainstream to broadcast anything that might taint his squeaky clean, gay-hating, AIDS-quarantining, murder-rapist pardoning ass would we?
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