Britney Spears To Be Voted Worst Mother EVER!
According to a poll I took last night, which involved calling all three of my friends, my mom, my kids and a couple homeless people who hit me up for change, Britney Spears is the worst mother to ever live. That means Andrea Yates,that Prom Mom who drowned her newborn in the toilet and countless strangers who've done irreparable harm to their children over the last 100,000 plus years since man evolved from apes, came in behind her. WOW! That's impressive. You know what this means?
Britney Spears is back on top again. On top of the "I am a total lying idiot y'all." Why do I say all this hyperbolic spewage against America's sweetheart? Because once again Britney managed to not fulfill her obligations in her ongoing legal battle to win back custody of her two small children, 2-year old Sean Preston and 1-year old Jayden James.
Britney was supposed to show up for a deposition yesterday with Kevin Federline's attorneys, but called in sick, saying she wouldn't be able to make it because of some undisclosed "illness." No doubt, K-Fed's attorneys will be seeking "remedies" from the court, ie., sticking it to her as hard as they can, a task made simpler than even her wee little brain, because she refuses to cooperate with the courts, K-Fed, or any authority who has a say in whether she sees her kids.
Britney was seen later that evening wandering the city until 2:00am visiting her favorite places: Four Seasons hotel, various gas stations and most likely, a Starbucks. Britney, in her infinite wisdom and remarkable intelligence apparently drove off without her assistant, leaving them at the gas station. No word on whether she went back to get them. They are better off being forgotten, sort of like little SPF and JJ.
It's getting to be regoshdamndiculous reporting on Britney's ceaseless ineptitude at not just parenting, but being a human being. I have come to the conclusion Britney sucks infected rat penises in the gutter. Think I am kidding about that? Just wait, TMZ will have video later of Britney crouching down in the gutter trying to grab a little rat penis. Those things are small y'all, it takes real commitment and if there's anything we know about Britney, she needs to be committed.
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