Christmas Songs That Suck Smelly Reindeer Balls - Page 3
Anne Murray does the same thing to Walking In A Winter Wonderland, except Canadian style. And you know what that means. I don’t either, but it’s a real negative.
Already covered Mannheim Steamroller. It says a lot about that it made both mine and Josh’s list. It gets a big fat A+ for sucking so large.
I don’t know The McKenzie Brothers, “Twelve Days of Christmas,†but really, any version of “Twelve Days….†is a whole heaping pile of dirty dung, so we’ll leave it at that.
Here is where Josh and I part ways. I LOVE “Wonderful Christmastime†by Paul McCartney. Sure it’s cloyingly sweet and ridiculously simple. That’s why it works. Christmas as its very root is cloyingly sweet and ridiculously simple. Making it complicated should be against the law.
Josh’s Reaction:
I agree with every single one of your choices. Man, those are some truly awful pieces of shit. What can I say? When you’re right, you’re right.
I didn’t know anyone still played the Backstreet Boys. That’s alarming in and of itself, but we’ll save that for another time. Mariah Carey damn near killed Christmas with that turd of an album. One thing that doesn’t get played anymore is the Jewel Christmas record. I actually won an award for trashing that pretentious piece of shit.
“Grandma Got Runover By A Reindeer" is funny as hell when you’re in fifth of sixth grade. That it has lasted this long is… well, depressing. Actually it’s worse that depressing. It’s just awful. I hope those clowns invested their money wisely. They must have. They’ve not really done anything anyone has had to endure since.
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Be sure to stay tuned for another episode where Josh and I discuss our “Favorite Christmas Songs Of All Time†wherein I pontificate on the joys of the season until your head explodes into little holly berries. I wonder, do those stick to reindeer fur?
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