Randy and Candy Spelling Breaking Hearts and Cameras Worldwide
 
Randy Spelling with his mother Candy Spelling seen here at the premier for his new reality show, "Sons of Hollywood" show us that some children really do have a face only a mother can love. My guess is that his face was disfigured by our Great Creator From Beyond for either having the temerity to admit that he was Paris Hilton's first sexual encounter, or because he WAS Paris Hilton's first sexual encounter.
Either way, that's grounds for permanent termination....from the planet. The solar system. The galaxy. The gamma quandrant. The universe. And lastly he should be blasted into the place where anti-matter and matter meet: Paris Hilton's crotch.Â
The "Sons of Hollywood" is an A&E monstrosity that chronicles the lives of Hollywood royalty Randy Spelling (seen mugging up top) and Sean Stewart, son of Rod as they team up with their agent David Weintraub to move out of their parents houses and begin their lives as annoying c-listers.
Honestly, all you have to do is read TMZ and you can get the abbreviated version of the same thing: we move out, blow our trustfund on booze, drugs and hookers (of the male variety for Randy), get DUI's, go to rehab, do VH1's "The Surreal Life," get botched plastic surgery, live out our worthless days in a prescription drug-addled state of existence until our hearts give out.
See, I just saved you hours of wasted time. That will be $300,000, thank you!
image: Wireimage
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