A Good Grope Could Save Your Life
What’s a little groping between friends?
There’s too little love in the world these days, so the new Transportation Security Administration (TSA) practice of giving a friendly pat-down to those too prudish to have nudie pictures taken of themselves before getting on a plane just seems like a way of spreading some warmth to the masses in a pretty cold world.
Few of us think of anyone involved in airport screenings as friendly, but I imagine that will change now that if you refuse screening via the new Advanced Imaging Technology (AIT), you get the chance to get up close and personal with a TSA representative. If you’re craving a little tenderness, or a three minute thrill ride, your friendly TSA official will be happy to provide.
I’m all for it. All right, I’m over fifty, so that may have something to do with it, but really, let’s think this through, folks. Flying the friendly skies is a thing of the past. Believe it or not, the only friends you have in this scenario are the TSA agents with the roving eyes and wandering hands. And if that’s what it takes to keep me from ending up dead at the end of a plane ride, well, take all the naked pictures you want, and if that’s not enough, by all means, pat away.
Unlike me, though, “regular dads” James Babb and George Donnelly are none too happy with the TSA. The two founded the site We Won’t Fly to protest the new “airport porno-scanners,” voicing concern that the scanners would take nude pictures of their children. The site posts 25 ways advising readers about “How to Raise Hell” with the TSA and disrupt screening practices at airports. So incensed are the two that they “will settle for nothing less than the abolition of the TSA,” maintaining that, “Passenger security efforts, in order to remain credible, must be decentralized and agile, just like the threats.” Whatever that means.
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