I'll Be Gay For Both of Us!
I order my first and only pint at my favorite watering hole, where the eclectic atmosphere is only equaled by its diverse patrons. But there is always one, a solitary, angry individual with politics that must be voiced, above all others.
I did my best to mentally suffocate the orifice that continued to spew venomous discourse about men and women who have chosen a different path. As his volume increased, I finally found it impossible to converse with my neighbor. So I asked the question that had been swimming in my head since he opened his mouth.
"Why do you care what genders of consenting adults choose to be together?" For the love of Artemis, Goddess of the Forest, (big pause as I inhale deep to ensure the homophobe across the bar can hear me), “Why do people like you continue to feel like it is any of your business? And please skip the God or Jesus excuse, because both were educated, tolerant, and had great hair and lots of friends.”
Oh… here he comes. Damn this bar. Plastic pint glasses are not the answer when in need of a sleep-induced conking device, I thought with wavering efficiency. But Mr. World-Hater just mumbled as he brushed by my barstool on his way to set free $10 of cheap drafts.
But I am not finished with this intellectual giant; there is so much to glean from a rich mind, so I wait him out. And here he comes, unnecessarily brushes my barstool again on his way to an all-too-familiar seat.
He hollers for another skunky-draft, waits impatiently for its arrival, sucks down the foam end and yells, “So you think GAYS should do whatever they Fu$@#!&^ they want to?”
TIME FOR A VISUAL BREAK –- a large, beefy, sweaty man, his upper lip to chin covered in white beer foam, is bellowing across a room and bar full of people, asking my thoughts on humanity or “GAYS,” as he enjoyed saying.Continued on the next page