Independence Police Open Fire on Alligator Lawn Ornament
Hot of the press from Kansas, Mo today is news that in a Barney Fife moment the local police shot and damaged a huge reptile. Responding to a rare sighting in a subdivision near a pond they had been advised by a conservation agent to kill the gator if it posed a threat.
Hearing banjo music playing in the distance while they fired the second bullet that bounced off the reptile’s head the police finally realized they might have something else on their hands. Although it was growing dark at the time and partially submerged in the weeds it was a call for all property owners to remove their pink flamingos from their lawns less they be used as target practice.
The property owner who was quite angry was then advised he might have a few repairs on his hands regarding his lawn gator. He told the police that the concrete gator was meant to keep people off his property. Officers guilty of not asking the gator for his license first advised the man that maybe a no-trespassing sign might have been better.
One has to ask themselves how many ramped alligators are running around in Kansas City unless the TV show Reno 911 is there. Did they think it was a tornado alligator blown in from parts unknown? As with a lot of questionable police behavior the method here was to shoot first and ask questions later. There was no mention of a warrant or a call to the property owner and the residents of the city agreed that when the lawn gnomes rise up and take over the world it is reassuring to know we have people that can handle it.
When police officers were seen leaving the scene they were patting each other on the back shouting, “Mission Accomplished!”
As I read the news article all I could think of was,
"Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do when they come for you!"
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