Jerk? Try One of These Five Snarky Words Instead
Jerk: a great word, very concrete, meaning “to pull.” Jerk as an insult, on the other hand, is lame.
It comes straight out of the 1950's, along with Ward Cleaver and apple pie. Old-fashioned to the hilt, try something a little more hip. Here are five words with a charm all their own.
Proposal number one: cad. Calling someone a cad is beyond old-fashioned; it is archaic. Imagine top-hats, monocles, and newspaper boys. That is the era that the term 'cad' originates from. Throw on a bowler hat, don your waistcoat, and take to the streets, you cad. This is the type of insult that has to be earned.
Number two is a personal favorite: curmudgeon. The United States needs to embrace this word. With a bounding deficit and horrible economic times ahead for years, every citizen curmudgeon can stand up proud. Now, a curmudgeon is technically a “bad-tempered and difficult man.” But today's era looks beyond gender: women of all walks of life espouse curmudgeonly ways, and always have. It is time to move out of strict gender roles and recognize this.
Ever been called a rapscallion? You probably wish you had. Half scoundrel, half rogue, and finished off with deceit and ill-repute, rapscallion originated with the word 'rascal,' but went beyond its humble beginnings. Rapscallions of recent fame include Roman Polanski and ex-Senator Rod Blagojevich. Note: Blagojevich managed to earn this with full bells and whistles only after his corruption cases were dismissed due to the hung jury. It takes a certain panache for this to happen, even in Chicago.
Seen The Last Exorcism? Feel like your cubicle mate makes you want to vomit and writhe uncontrollably? Maybe they are a fiend. Not a friend (that extra r makes a world of difference), and not a frenemy (that classic half-friend, half-enemy syndrome that Paris Hilton and the Hollywood Brat Pack display), but a fiend. Next time you get to the point of murder, call it as it is, and call them a fiend: a wicked, sinister person (or a demon). So they are lacking horns and claws? As Marcy's Playground states in the lyrics for "Deadly Handsome Man", true evil is “Always in command / with a graceful element.” It also wears Calvin Klein.Continued on the next page