Postal Employee Concocts Armed Robbery Story
PerpPlexity is a periodical celebration of criminals who have yet to reach the mastermind status — we'll settle for asking them to simply think the next time.
Back in December postal worker Amy Fox made a frantic 911 call from her office in sleepy Weston, Michigan. She told the operator she was being robbed at gunpoint and was told by the perp to take her shirt off. She described the assailant as a "black or Mexican" man wearing a FUBU sweatshirt.
WDIV in Detroit plays out the story like a mystery novel, but here at PerpPlexity we're all about spoiling the fun: Fox made up the whole damn story.
Authorities are suspecting the tale was contrived to conceal the fact that she was the one stealing from the post office. In all honesty, it's not a half-bad scheme. Cute blonde girls have inherently believable stories.
EXCEPT:
• Who robs a post office, let alone a post office in a small Michigan village? There is some blatant stupidity out there, but this is just a death wish.
• No, really. WHO STEALS STAMPS? Studies show perps are less trusting of registered U.S. mail. Now, maybe if they were robbing a Boost Mobile store...
• Really, Amy? A black man with a gun? Wearing FUBU? Were you too fake-scared to mention the part about him having large lips and carrying a bucket of fried chicken?
Fox is looking at embezzlement charges and federal crimes. She also faces the self-inflicted stigma the rest of her life for being at worst a criminal and at best a liar.
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