The Child-Free and the Immaturity Myth
As a child-free author and blogger, I have spent a good deal of time debunking popular myths about people who choose to not have children.
One of the most common myths is that we are immature, don't want to "grow up," and are unwilling to take on the responsibilities of adulthood. After interviewing over a hundred couples for my book, Families of Two, and talking with hundreds more since, I can say that is far from the truth.
Here are three reasons why:
1. The child-free know that the parenthood decision is one of the biggest decisions we make in life. They take it very seriously, and carefully consider how it will affect their lives.
2. Their lives look very much like "adult" parents, with the only exception that they are not raising kids as part of their adult life. They have jobs, careers, and mortgages. They have hobbies, social lives, and are devoted to friends and family.
3. They contribute to their communities and to the world through nonprofit political, social and environmental work, to name just a few.
Immature choices to have kids is less talked about. Jumping into having a child without really thinking about what it will mean for you and the child is immature. Having children when you know you are not emotionally or financially ready is immature.
So why is the immature myth out there only about the child-free? Because there is a long-held notion that becoming a parent is "the" path to adulthood.
However, as more people choose to not have kids, and as it becomes more accepted as a lifestyle choice rather than destiny, hopefully it will become clearer that having children is merely one way to grow and mature.
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