TheFurFiles - Friend Zone, Greedy For An Uptown Girl, Wallpaper Woes - Page 2
It’s boxes and boxes of baking soda – used for everything from semi-cleaning the oven to messily applying as deodorant because you swear you are “going green” if it kills you.
It’s royal weddings, homelessness and The Beer Store.
It’s sex when you don’t really want it, but you do it anyway because if you don’t that Visa bill is going to be a whole lot harder to explain.
It people signaling left, who then turn right, and grandmas who knit sweaters just because.
It’s weighing nine hundred pounds because someone in your family is clearly an “enabler”.
It’s refusing to let the neighbor kid into your house because you heard that last week he had the flu, which was never officially confirmed as NOT being the “swine” flu but was probably just a really bad cold.
It’s also gladly ingesting the secretions of that hot brunette from the office, because knowing that she’s slept with fifteen of your coworkers somehow doesn’t seem to matter.
It’s thinking that you have to compete with pictures of naked women on your boyfriend’s computer because you are too much of a doorknob to understand that they are just that – pictures. You do have a copy of the “Firefighter’s Of America Official Calendar”, don’t you?
To read the rest of this week's column, visit Fern at her website - http://web.me.com/foxyauthor/TheFurFiles/Forum/Entries/2011/4/8_Friend_Zone___Greedy_For_An_Uptown_Girl___Wallpaper_Woes.html