TheFurFiles - Grotesque Burlesque, Crazy For Christie, Sexy In Stirrups
Madame Floretta “Fern” De Villiers, a.k.a. “Amanda Fox” is an author of erotic fiction and commentary. This is her weekly advice column.
Friday, February 11th, 2011.
Hello
Mrs Amanda i greet you and your member of your family i hope all is fine with you and your children i give thanks to god almighty,
i am DR AUGUSTINE OKWE from africa accra ghana nice to no you i need a sweet lady friend who can make my mind look nice and crazing in my life, +233 54 53 90 531,
augustine,
Weeeelllll hellloooo Augustine.
Have I been randomly selected as the winner of five hundred million euro? And how did you know that I loved chocolate treats? Especially ones with names as deeeeelicious as yours. And a doctor no less… yummmm!!!! Yes, greetings to you and thank you SOOOOO much for writing to me.
Oh that I could be your sweet lady friend. If it is OK with you, I will send you some money for the first plane ticket over here. What the heck, I may as well just divulge all of my credit and banking information so that you can book the flight yourself – yes, I am THAT eager to meet. While you are at it, buy yourself some new clothes and jewelry – expensive jewelry. I want you looking extra scrumpdillyicous when you get here.
BTW, please call me Fern, not Amanda. It makes me feel sexier, and when I feel sexier, I act sexier, and when I act sexier, I am more likely to do things that will make your mind “look nice” and add “crazing” to your life.
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Dear Fern,
Could you please settle an argument? My girlfriends all say that Ryan Reynolds is super sexy. They say that he’s the hottest man on the planet and that they’d let him do anything to them, including letting him defile their back passages (if you get my meaning) in a dark alley without protection, his hand clamped tightly over their mouths so they’d have no possible way of telling him when to stop. They also say that they would each pay upwards of $100 000 in order to have sex with him on camera, such that the video – to be distributed globally – would only show their faces, not his. I don’t agree. What do you think?
Sincerely,
Group Of Giggling Gals In Greater Galveston
Dear Group,
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