TheFurFiles - The Lesbian Next Door, Girls Gone Wild, A Penchant For Peelers - Page 5
P.S. I still go to the thrift store every once in a while. I can’t help myself. I simply wash whatever I buy in boiling hot water as soon as I get home and hope for the best. It is my only vice so don’t judge me because I would NEVER judge you - degenerate.
I love my boyfriend Joey very much. About seven months ago however, I cheated on him with a man of the darker persuasion. (Joey and I are Caucasian.) I never told Joey about my little indiscretion and of course, he thinks the baby is his. He is so excited that I haven’t the heart to tell him that there’s a fifty percent chance – OK, a ninety percent chance – that the baby might belong to this other guy.
What should I do? I really love Joey and I want us to be a happy family. I know what I did was wrong, but I don’t want to pay for it for the rest of my life. Should I wait to see what happens? I mean, if the baby comes out white, everything should be fine, right? If not, I fear I am in big, big trouble.
BTW, Joey is an allegiant member of the NRA and he has an extensive World War II rifle collection.
Three Months ‘Til Judgment Day
Sounds like Maury didn’t solve your problem, so I’ll give it a shot.
After much consideration, I’d say that you’ve gotten yourself in this deep so you may as well keep the lie going. If the baby turns out to be white, obviously your life will be a bed of roses. It’s not like you have no will power or a poor sense of judgment. You would be completely home free.
If, on the other hand, the baby turns out brown, well, no problem there either, for while it may not occur often, this sort of “white parents/black baby” thing HAS happened before.
So when you are in the delivery room and the baby pops out brown with a full head of black curly hair, just say, “Wow, our darling is a medical wonder. We could probably make some money off of her,” or, “I knew it. Old Uncle Ernie’s genes live on.” Just as a precaution however, you may want to set up a Wiki page outlining this strange condition to show Joey – if necessary – on the big day. Good luck!