TheFurFiles - Weirded Out By Women, Normal Or Not, The Waiting Game - Page 6
As the child grows, the waiting continues and you'll find yourself hoping that he/she will be potty trained soon so your house doesn’t smell like crap all the time. And sad to say, but you’ll impatiently wait for them to get through the “terrible” two’s, and the “just as bad” three’s and the “even worse” four’s, so you don’t have to look like a complete incompetent whenever you go to the mall, grocery store, library or bank.
Out of diapers at last, but still in the temper tantrum phase, your child is oh so demanding and you and your husband will need some time away. So saying, you’ll look forward to the day when your little darling is old enough to look after him/herself so that the babysitter isn’t getting half of your hard-earned money just so the two of you can have crappy “I may be in a hotel but I still wonder what’s going on at home” sex.
As they become teenagers, you'll then look forward to them moving out so you don’t have put up with their “what have you done for me lately” and “didn’t you know I am the queen of the world?” attitude. The list goes on and on.
In terms of your marriage, there is much more waiting to be had. On a regular basis, you’ll wait for your husband to take out the garbage like he said he would three days ago. You’ll wait for him to stop being such a jerk when things aren’t going so great at work. You’ll wait for him to stop complaining about how little sex you are having or about how you fail as a disciplinarian with the children. You’ll ultimately find yourself waiting for his best friend Jake to come over just so you can flirt with a man who isn’t always “grinding your gears”. You’ll also probably wait for the guys fixing your back deck to go on lunch break so you can take them out some lemonade in your new cut-off jean shorts and tube top. Pathetically, you’ll wait for one of them to proposition you because you need that little boost.
Other odd things you will be waiting for in the future...
You’ll wait for the “I never really wanted it in the first place but my seven-year-old wouldn’t leave the store without it” hamster to die already.
You’ll wait for your nosy, bitchy mother-in-law to move out of your house and into an old folks home.Continued on the next page