What is Life with PTSD?
There’s an old saying about rape—the rapist gets (maybe) five years, the victim gets life. According to Wikipedia, “A study made by the U.S. Department of Justice of prison releases in 1992…found that the average sentence for convicted rapists was 11.8 years, while the actual time served was 5.4 years.” The victim’s world is compromised; there is no guarantee of safety and the memories can haunt for decades. Even so-called “recovered” victims (aka “survivors”) may suffer nightmares, flashbacks, and other symptoms years after the event.
Marla Handy, in her remarkable book No Comfort Zone: Notes on Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, describes a childhood characterized by abuse of every kind—sexual, emotional, and physical. Her mother was seriously mentally ill and her father was a bullying, egocentric alcoholic. Her mother’s stepfather had sexually abused her, yet the mother would leave him alone with her children. In early adulthood, Handy was brutally raped by a stranger.
Handy advises that No Comfort Zone is neither a memoir nor a self-help book. Those suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) will find a fellow sufferer’s story, including the things that sometimes work for her and the things (and people) that don’t, not suggestions on how to improve their lives. The value of No Comfort Zone is that it sheds light on a disorder that is relatively well known, yet little understood.
Caregivers, friends, significant others, and relatives of people suffering from PTSD will gain insight into what a person is experiencing but may not be able to put into words. Handy discusses the semantics that observers often use to distance themselves from the sufferer’s experiences, the need for communication and accessibility, and physical changes caused by PTSD.
No Comfort Zone is also a reminder that after the headlines, after all the sympathy directed towards a victim, there is still suffering and fear. To deeply traumatized people, “Get over it” is just an insensitive, ignorant insult. In a perfect world, no one would have to learn that lesson, but in our world the possibility of trauma haunts our daily lives, whether it’s acknowledged or not. Handy describes her life and whatever past history she has retained (or has access to) with grace and humor. She’s led a remarkable life, despite her traumatic experiences and their results.
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