A Mom's Letter To Santa
Santa may be more for adults than for kids. CNN recently cited a study published in Psychological Reports back in 2008, in which researchers evaluated the emotions of 600 kids who were lined up to meet Santa at the mall. Of the children, 80 percent appeared indifferent, while 87 percent of their guardians looked to be happy.
As one of those who embraces Santa and his spirit, I’ve written a letter to the jolly old elf:
I think I’ve been a good Mom this year. I’ve kissed foreheads Good Night, wiped away tears caused by hurt feelings, administered to a myriad of boo-boos, and wiped the tushies of not only my little one, but her friends. I’ve rallied playdates, fed the neighborhood kids, and worn out an entire bottle of aspirin attending parties at Chuck E. Cheese. I’ve schlepped the boy to a seasons’ worth of sporting events and kept my daughter entertained at numerous practices. I’ve endured the smell of feet while the little one took classes at Diamond Gymnastics, paid copious PTA dues, and taught various grades of Sunday School. Ok, I’ve yelled WAY too much and probably fed them more junkfood than my pediatrician would like. And yes, I’ve allowed them more television than the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends, but I like my sanity and need a little peace and quiet. But overall, I think I deserve to be on the nice list.
Here’s what I would like for Christmas:
1. A sick day once in a while. When I’m running a 104 fever, I’d like to be able to stay in bed and have someone take care of me.
2. A complete night of sleep without someone either calling me or coming into the bed. Yes, I know when they’re in college I’ll miss them, but I’d like one night NOW.
3. A free limousine service to drive my kids wherever they need to go, on time, without having to nag kids a few hundred times to put on their shoes.
4. An automatic tushy wiper so I don’t have to.
5. A self-cleaning house.
6. Calorie-less cheesecake, beer, Doritos, onion dip, milkshakes, candy, and Italian food.
7. A free in-house masseuse.
8. Garbage that takes itself out.
9. More television shows like “Mike & Molly,” “Mad Men,” and “Modern Family.”
10. Peace on earth or at least peace in my house.