Five Things I Learned Through Divorce - Page 2
• Communication – a major issue that led to my divorce was an inability to communicate with my wife in a way that both our needs were met. One of us always seemed to get their way. After our separation, roles became more clear-cut. When the kids are with me, I make the choices for them. When they’re with their mom, she does. But the kids’ well-being is both of our concerns, and that means co-parenting. While communications from schools, sports teams, and doctors sometimes have usually only gone to the mom, my ex and I try to talk or e-mail daily about the kids and their needs. We may be separated from each other, but we are forever connected through our children, and we try our best to put the kids’ needs first.
• Gratitude – I took a lot for granted when I was married, sometimes dragging myself through social events I didn’t particularly care to attend. After divorce, I was dropped from a social scene I’d been part of for ten years. And I only got to see my kids half-time, including every other holiday. Now I’m ever more grateful for the time I share with family and friends, and the gratitude has spilled over into just about everything in my life. I’m grateful for good health, good food, good friends, and just about anything that can be taken away in a flash.
Divorce may have meant the end of my marriage, but it also kicked off a whole new life for me. I could have forever fought the changes and raged against injustices. Instead, I learned a whole new and healthier way to go through life.