KidLit: Easing the Pain of Deployment, Lily Hates Goodbyes
Lily Hates Goodbyes and with good reason. Her dad is a member of the United States Navy, and when he ships out, it’s for a billion days. Lily misses her father terribly when he’s away, and although she doesn’t like to talk about her sadness, sometimes it's evident in her behavior.
Author Jerilyn Marler wrote Lily Hates Goodbyes for her “four-year-old granddaughter who was reeling from the pain of her Daddy’s time away in the Navy.” After creation of “Book Lily,” “Real Lily” was able to discuss her feelings more readily and better adapted to her father’s absence.
In Lily Hates Goodbyes, Lily learns that she’s not the only one who sometimes feels sad or angry or stubborn, her mother often feels the same way. She knows that her dad loves her and wants her to be happy, so she occupies her days with activities like drawing, singing, playing the piano, and riding swings until he returns. Bright graphics by Nathan Stoltenberg aptly illustrate Lily’s emotions and sweep readers along with the story.
A parent’s absence is distressful for a child, and sometimes distress is betrayed by “acting out.” Lily Hates Goodbyes tells children it’s okay to experience negative emotions, but it’s a good idea to talk to someone (like Mommy, Daddy, Grandma) about them.
Marler uses the last page of Lily Hates Goodbyes to offer suggestions on how parents can help their children benefit from the book, including the deployed parent reading it with the child before departure. No, Lily Hates Goodbyes will not make the pain of separation any less, bit it may make it easier for a child to cope with and discuss it. And that can lead to happy endings.
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