Susan Archer

I was born in Michigan, raised in New Jersey, dragged off to New Zealand at age 11, dragged back to the States at age 28, and I’m still in North Carolina 23 years later. At the time, I knew that emigrating to the other side of the world was a big deal, but I can conjure up only one clear memory. Then as now, flights from America to New Zealand cross the International Date Line, so you arrive the day you leave. We left New Jersey on my sister’s 10th birthday and arrived in New Zealand on her 10th birthday. I was outraged: She got two birthdays! And I’ve held onto that silly grudge for—let’s see—40 years. Real mature. My poor sister probably didn’t enjoy either of her birthdays because we spent the first one crammed into coach class seats and the second one keeping quiet so our parents could figure how and where to start. The local lingo was their first hurdle; we all thought Kiwis spoke English -- until they spoke: “Gidday mate, yer and yer mussis got sum kite cuds thar. Yer soot casses well bay at the beggage chucken down that allway.” But we were quick-witted immigrants; within a few short months, we’d become vowel-shifting experts. We wrote with ink PINS, hung wet clothes up with PIGS, adopted stray CUTTINS and PIT rabbits, always mentioned SEX when counting to TIN, and loved FUSH and SCUPS for dinner. But here’s the real irony: I faced lingo-lock-shock all over again in North Carolina. This time the vowels were drawwwnnnnn out so darn far that I about fell asleep between sentences. And then there were those little nuances that you just can’t avoid tripping over: When a Kiwi asks you for a rubber, he wants an eraser. Imagine how well that request went over at my first job. From Yankee to Kiwi to Down South hasn’t been easy, but it’s never been boring.

Susan Archer's topics

• a plus,
• advice,
• baby showers,
• birthday parties,
• black belt,
• child-rearing,
• funny,
• how-to,
• humorous,
• marathon,
• martial-arts,
• parenting,
• raising kids,
• roller coaster,
• stress-reducing,
• teenager,
• tips,