Cantor Strangles Infant To Make Debt Ceiling Point
Members of the House Republican Caucus stood by smiling and Tea Party protesters cheered as House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-9th Ring of Hell) strangled a six-week old child on the front steps of the Capitol Building today to demonstrate how far Republicans were willing to go to preserve tax breaks for the super-wealthy in the current debt ceiling crisis.
As House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) stood there and wept, Cantor did most of the talking at the hastily called press conference, which coincided with a Tea Party rally taking place nearby on the Capitol Mall.
"President Obama doesn't seem to realize what he's dealing with," Cantor said. "President Obama doesn't seem to realize WHO he's dealing with. There is no way we are going to pass an increase to the debt ceiling with tax increases on the people we are counting on to provide jobs. There is no way we are going to pass an increase to the debt ceiling without having first passed a balanced budget amendment to the Constitution for the states to ratify. Not gonna do it, not gonna do it!"
Cantor responded to a question directed to Speaker Boehner about the lack of jobs currently, given the massive tax cuts passed 10 years ago by Republicans under President Bush.
"I'm answering the questions here," Cantor said as Boehner's whole body racked with sobs. "And things are different now. That's why. You can't expect job creators to create the jobs they haven't created the LAST time we cut their taxes if we RAISE their taxes before they even realize we CUT their taxes. Are you stupid?"
Another reporter asked why Republicans seemed so willing to hold America hostage, not just America but the entire world economy, just to avoid cutting big oil subsidies, other tax loopholes for huge, profitable corporations that ship jobs overseas, and returning the tax level for the upper one percent of income earners to the pre-2001 levels they enjoyed before the "temporary" Bush tax cuts.Continued on the next page