Dems Make Tough Final Offer in Debt Ceiling Talks: "Everything You Want, Plus a Free X-Box for Every Millionaire's Child
Saying "the time has come for Republicans to realize who they're dealing with here," Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid made what he called his "final offer" for a final deal to raise the debt ceiling.
"We will give you $3-trillion in spending cuts, no revenue increases, and we'll make it a six month deal so you can screw with us all over again during the middle of the election cycle."
"Don't forget to tell them about the X-Boxes," House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi interjected.
"Right," Reid said. "In addition, we will provide an X-Box for each child living in a family that has a yearly income of $1-million or more."
"That's for each child," Pelosi added. "Not just one X-Box per family. If you have three kids, you get three X-Boxes."
"If your kids prefer Play Station or Wii, that's something we can work out," Reid said. "The important thing is that we get this debt ceiling raised before everything turns to shit."
House Speaker John Boehner said the offer was a step in the right direction. But House Majority Leader Eric Cantor was quick to throw cold water on the deal.
"I see nothing in the Democratic Party's offer that says ANYTHING about Obama dressing in old-time minstrel clothing and doing the 'buck and wing' at our next CPAC meeting," Cantor said. "Until we can deal with the main issue here, and that's the political — and perhaps, even the physical neutering of this uppity so-and-so, then I just don't see that we have anything to talk about."
Cantor added, "I come from Virginia. We know HOW to deal with of OUR cullud folk down heah!"