DOOM IS UPON US! LOOK! IT APPROACHES E'EN NOW!!! - Page 3
Oh God, oh Christ, oh Christ, oh God!
WHY ARE YOU STILL READING THIS!!!
Not just your BOWELS!!! YOUR HOMES!!!
THIS update is so CURRENT, it was POSTED TOMORROW!!!Enormous Cracks In The Earth Are Appearing Globally: International News Blackout
The cracks are appearing because our earth is under incredible strain from the pull of gravity from an approaching celestial object. This tug on the planet’s equilibrium is also causing earthquakes, floods, severe weather and wild fluctuations in the earth’s magnetic field. What’s not happening naturally is now being helped along by the evil death rays of HAARP technology, as mad scientists in DARPA and the US military try to play God, tinkering with weather patterns, making tornadoes appear where they usually do not, blasting the earth’s ionosphere with levels of electrical activity it was never intended to endure.
AND THE MEDIA STILL WANTS TO TALK ABOUT ANTHONY WEINER'S...
WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE!!!!
What if ANTHONY WEINER'S PENIS IS THE HUGE CELESTIAL OBJECT THAT IS TEARING THE EARTH APART?
Oh God, Oh Christ, Oh Christ, Oh God...
I have stumbled onto a COSMIC TRUTH here people. I feel by posting this, I am signing my own death warrant.
But don't let MY death stop YOU, Gentle Reader! There are too MANY of you for THEM to stop with their media blackouts and dwarf stars and incredibly large penises.
SPREAD THE WORD!
SPREAD THE WORD!
ad the word that the author of this column, and that is the person who I am, was just having a little fun at your expense. Ha. Fun is fun. And me, the guy who I am, likes fun more than many peoples.
Forget what you read here.
Just forget it.