Hi. I'm Michele Bachmann. I'd Like to Be Your President! LOOK BEHIND YOU! QUICK!
Hello. My name is Michele Bachmann. I'm a congresswoman from Minnesota. I'm not sure which part. I'll have someone check and let you know before I'm done.
OH MY GOD!!!
Sorry. I just do that sometimes. I'm nervous. And with good reason.
Chances are very few of you know anything about me. That makes me wish we could hold the election RIGHT NOW! But we can't, thanks to our wonderful founders who decided when we could and could not have elections.
Sorry. I'm a little jumpy. The doctor says it's because I have five kids of my own and have provided foster care for 23 other kids. I think it was 23. At least that's how many I tell people about. Don't go digging around in my back yard.
The Sixth Congressional District of Minnesota? Where's that?
The area east, north and west of the Twin Cities.
I forget things.
But never the Constitution. Never that. It was our marvelous Constitution that made coffee possible. Did you know that? Neither did I! But I heard it somewhere. It's in an Article or Amendment or something. I get the two mixed up.
But when I'm President, the first thing we're going to do is send each and every filthy Mexican back to their filthy country. You know why? Because our great Founding Fathers like Thomas Jefferson and James Madison and Abraham Lincoln and Dwight D. Eisenhower didn't even PUT the WORD "Mexico" IN our glorious Constitution. They also left out Social Security, Medicare, the Interstate Highway System and Food Safety. So that means all those things have to be handled by the states. Don't blame me. It's in the Constitution.Continued on the next page