Lolllipops and Unicorns Fill the Air as Republicans Sit with Democrats at SOTU
All day long.
All... Freakin'... Day... Long!
All they've been talking about on the two actual cable news networks is the fact that Republicans and Democrats are going to SIT TOGETHER at tonight's State of the Union Address.
Well, Lah Dee Freakin' Dah!!!
"Look, Abner! All our problems is over and done! Them Republykins and Demmycrats is a-sittin' together and holdin' each other's hands and they ain't smackin' or slappin' each other or nuthin'!"
Why, I even hear that if a Republican wants to call the President a liar this year, he will have to send a handwritten note to the podium on a pink, lace-fringed piece of stationery with a ribbon and a wax seal on it!
Everything is just so, well... nice! Republicans sitting next to Democrats.
And the Lion Shall Lie Down with the Lamb (but, as Woody Allen once wrote, the Lamb won't be getting much rest.)
And this...
Means...
WHAT???
Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell was quoted on Talking Points Memo this afternoon saying that by "bipartisan," he means that if the President wants to do something that McConnell and the Republicans would want to do anyway, he should feel free to go ahead and do so!
Isn't that SWEET! And Republicans and Democrats are gonna sit SIDE by SIDE and sing Kum-By-FREAKIN'-Yah as if their pitiful display of "Let's Pretend" actually MEANT anything... which you would think it DID if you watched CNN or MSNBC at any point during the day.
And then, once this big hand-holdin' party is over, the GOP is gonna have their OWN State of the Union where Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Ill.) is gonna say nice things about President Obama and how much the GOP looks forward to working with him as long as he does things THEIR way.
And, as an added EXTRA bit of goodness and fun, Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-Mars) is going to hold her OWN State of the Union so she can talk about the things people REALLY care about, like the creeping evil of socialism and how President Obama is a fascist Nazi usurper from Kenya and how we gotta cut spending on everything except for the stuff people WANT which is EVERYTHING and KEEP your GOVERNMENT HANDS offa our HEALTH CARE and don't cut my MEDICARE and SOCIAL SECURITY and let's not forget our brave FIGHTING SOLDIERS and the need to NOT cut defense spending and we gotta cut and cut and cut and cut entitlements that "Those People" who don't want to work for their money have been leeching off of for all these years and her eyes will spin around and around and around in her pretty head as she talks about these things and all that OTHER stuff the Tea Party-supported candidates suddenly FORGOT about when they got elected and then Sarah Palin wearing a red, white and blue spangled cheerleader outfit will tap dance and twirl batons with sparklers on the ends of them as she and Michelle march off to Iowa to fight Newt Gingrich to see which brand of craziness sells best in the Hawkeye state.
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