Michele Bachmann's Nightly Prayer for Higher Unemployment Numbers
Dear Heavenly Father in Heaven Above,
Thank you for the new, unexpectedly higher unemployment numbers you released today. Thank you for answering my prayers that unemployment continue to be a problem for the Kenyan Socialist Fraud in the White House.
You know better than anyone, Oh most Knowing and Wise Lord, that human suffering is GREAT for my campaign. The more people suffer, the more we can blame it on Obama, the more likely the voters will follow your clearly stated will, and my Husband's wishes, and make me President.
Did you see me on CNBC this morning, Oh, Omnipotent Lord of Hosts?
I agree with You, most Holy of Holy Gods, that it's not wrong to hope for more human misfortune if it helps Marcus' political ambitions, by which I mean Your political ambitions, which must, by nature, therefore be MY political ambitions. And the people who are being harmed by Your righteous judgement against the Pretender in the Oval Office will be rewarded with riches stored in heaven since they can't have any of the riches that we intend for the already rich, in accordance with Your will.
Praise You with many praises and shouts of acclamation, Almighty Holy God. You have seen to it that more and more people have no food to eat or money to pay their bills, all of which will surely ensure my election next year.
So all I can say is, "Yay, God!" Keep the human misery and suffering coming, Sweet Loving God. Show us your compassion and mercy by crushing the Kenyan insect in the White House and ensuring to Marcus, through You, through me, the Ultimate Glory that awaits.