Obama to Ask Millionaires, Billionaires to Pay Same Tax Rate as Their Secretaries
There was an air of discontent Sunday at the Gottrocks Cigar and Tiger Hunting Club.
The reason for this heavy mood: A USA Today story that said President Obama is one day away from asking Congress to pass a deficit reduction bill that ensures millionaires and billionaires pay taxes at the same percentage of their income as the (ugh!) middle class.
"This is an outrage," club president J.P. Gottrocks thundered, his anger causing the ever-present cloud of cigar smoke to shift. "I didn't leverage the inheritance I got from my father to its current level of wealth just to pay the same tax rate as my secretary."
"They're calling it the 'Buffet Bill,'" sneered Ebenezer Stone, the famed Wall Street financier. "Warren Buffet. I wish I had that class traitor here right now. I'd order my man servant to beat him to a fair-thee-well. Isn't that right, Ruggles?"
"Yes, suh," his British man servant said. "As you say, suh."
"So, what is to be done about this socialist and his socialistic socialism?" asked P.L. Pierpont, heir to the Pierpont Oil and Ivory Trust. "What's the point of being mega-wealthy if we have to pay the same tax rates as (ugh) the filthy rabble?"
"Well, chaps, I don't think there's much to worry about frankly," said Albermont Abercrombie as he exhaled a prodigious volume of illegal Cuban tobacco smoke. "You know our boys in the Congress will never let it happen. We PAY them enough, for God's sake."
"You fool," Gottrocks thundered. "Of course it will never happen. It's the PERCEPTION. We're ALREADY the most hated people in the world! And if this, this... Obama... is able to make his socialist plot sound... reasonable... this could anger the mindless sheep to the point where they vote OUT our Republicans and replace them with DEMOCRATS!"Continued on the next page