Official Reaction to the MegaDeathEarthquakeDoom of August 23, 2011
Reaction has been FLOODING in to the Brain Damaged Troll newsroom since the MegaDeathEarthquakeDoom Event of August 23, 2011.
Luckily, here at the Elkridge, MD headquarters of the Brain Damaged Troll, we rode out the disaster with only a modicum of frightened dogs running up and down the hallways barking.
But reaction from the usual sources continues to flood into the newsroom. And for that, I apologize for using a word describing one natural disaster to define another. This weekend, when the hurricane wipes out the east coast, I'll make up for it by writing something like, "the reaction to the flooding was earthshaking."
In the same brave, pioneer spirit they exhibit at the "rumor of a possible half-inch of snow," official Washington, DC shut down. Hard. Every building was evacuated. Speaker of the House John Boehner said he reacted to the quake by bravely ordering the evacuation of his bowels.
Rick Perry was the next one to call in. He wondered where President Obama was and why the worst Earthquake in over 100 years to hit the DC area "conveniently" happened while Obama was on vacation.
Michele Bachmann questioned whether it was an earthquake. "I think it was, instead, all of our founding fathers rolling over in their graves at the same time at the unconstitutional spending President Obama has done."
Mitt Romney couldn't decide if it was an Earthquake, a Temblor, an Aftershock from the Japan quake or the result of a large, as of yet unreported asteroid strike.
House Republicans hurried back from their vacations to pass a resolution condemning President Obama for causing the Earthquake by allowing an unprecedented buildup of underground oil by failing to pass a series of "drill baby drill" laws.Continued on the next page