Republican Senate Candidate Todd Akin Says Legitimate Rapes Rarely Make Women Pregnant
Did you know that there are legitimate rapes?
Did you say rapes are never legitimate? Come on! Do you think you are smarter than a six-term congressman? How dare you!
Rep. Todd Akin, a Republican who is up against Missouri Democratic Sen. Claire McCaskill, was answering questions on abortion rights in instances when a woman is a victim of rape. He said, “People always want to make it into one of those things — well, how do you slice this particularly tough ethical question?” Then he said, “First of all, from what I understand from doctors, (pregnancy from rape) are really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”
Okay, so there you have it—“If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”
So why not make every rape legitimate since there lays the solution to the age-old problem of unwanted pregnancy from rapes? Of course, Akin didn’t mention whether the wise doctor he quoted was Republican or Democrat, and whether the theory works equally well if the perpetrator is Republican or Democrat, or irrespective of the victim’s political affiliation!
The learned politician further commented, “But let’s assumes that maybe that didn’t work or something. I think there should be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be on the rapist and not attacking the child.”
You made my day My Dear Congressman! Until now I had always blamed Talibans for making these sorts of comments. Today I am extending my unconditional apology to the Talibans—please forgive me for I was wrong. When a Congressman says what happens after “legitimate” rape and why abortion shall be banned, even if an unlikely pregnancy occurs—since the child is innocent (not fetus my friends, but child) and therefore the woman must be condemned to a full nine months of unwanted pregnancy.
Forgive me Talibans, I seek penance for my ignorance!