Feature: D.C. Water Cooler

Something died on Election Day

Author: Jimmy Zuma
Published: November 08, 2012 at 6:08 pm


There was much to celebrate on election night. But nothing is more worthy of our collective huzzah than the implosion of so many dumb Republican ideas, all at once. Let’s begin...

The Southern Strategy

Republican operatives have used some form of the race-dividing Southern Strategy since Barry Goldwater’s team invented it in the 1960s. That’s nearly 50 years of race baiting aimed at under-educated, white rednecks. The Southern Strategy tapped into the ludicrous belief that black people are dumber, lazier and more venal than white men. It helped secure victories for Nixon, Reagan, and George Bush Sr. by fomenting the view that white people needed to band together to keep black people from stealing the national cookie jar.

But it fell entirely flat this time. Apparently, you can call the President a Muslim-Socialist-Kenyan-Anti-colonial-Black-Nationalist-Terrorist-Food-stamp-lover who worships at the feet of his Southern Baptist, Anarchist Pastor. But you can no longer expect to be taken seriously by a large proportion of voters when you do.

You’ll never see the Southern Strategy practiced again. Good riddance to this maggot-laced pile of rubbish, we say.

That Karl Rove is a genius

Now – for the second presidential election – Karl Rove’s strategies and predictions have been disproven in spectacular fashion. His American Crossroads spent a mammoth $100 million in rich guy’s money to try to buy national and local elections. End result? 1.29 percent of the millions Rove spent through Crossroads had the desired result. Arguably, his spending had a negative effect.

There was also a sweaty, late-night meltdown on Fox News, just at the moment they called the race for Obama. Just then, a wild-haired Rove realized his abject failure – on camera no less.

If he wasn’t such a despicable charlatan, one could almost feel sorry for him. But two days later he blamed his losses on “voter suppression by the Obama campaign.”

That Americans want a government which provides no actual services to actual citizens

Bubble conservatives believe that Americans don’t want the government to help anyone. On every issue from Obamacare, to Medicaid, to Medicare to disaster relief, Americans told exit pollsters just the opposite – and said so in large margins. Fully sixty percent of voters want taxes raised on at least the top earners to pay for government. (Only about 2 percent of households earn $250 thousand or more.)

That Donald Trump can be taken seriously on any topic

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Article Author: Jimmy Zuma

What is your political office talking about around the DC Water Cooler? Email Jimmy at jimmyzuma@smartvstupid.com or call 202.681.4091. America's Favorite Liberalâ„¢, Jimmy Zuma, writes Technorati's DC Water Cooler, a weekly feature of what the politicians and pundits are talking about. …

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