The Craigslist Congressman Goes Down, So to Speak
Our story begins on January 14, 2011 as a lonely congressman paces in his apartment.
Gosh. It sure is boring being a Republican Congressman from Western New York. What's a fella supposed to do when he's down in DC and the wife and kids are up there in in Amherst!
I know! I'll cruise the sex ads on Craigslist! I'm a handsome, fit, married fella! Betcha I get lucky! What could POSSIBLY go wrong?
Ah! Here's one in the "Women seeking Men" section. It says, "Will someone prove to me not all CL men look like toads?" Well, I certainly don't look like a toad. A salamander or the GEICO Gecko perhaps. But not a toad. What else is she looking for?
Oho! She wants someone who is financially and emotionally secure! Well, I'm a Congressman so the first part — check! And I'm CERTAINLY emotionally-secure enough to be cheating on my wife... so... let's send a little note. See what happens.
Hmm... better lie about my age and job. A 39-year old lobbyist sounds better than a 46-year old congressman.
Hope I'm not a toad. :) i'm a very fit fun classy guy. Live in Cap Hill area. 6ft 190lbs blond/blue. 39.. Lobbyist. I promise not to disappoint.
And I'll send this nice photo of me wearing light slacks and a blue polo shirt.
OK, now to wait for an answer. Oooh! Here it is!
Are you sure that's not a photo from a Jcpenney ad?
Hah! I'll "JCPenny" HER! Heh! Better take another photo. Let's get this shirt off, whip out the Blackberry, look in the mirror and FLASH!
OK, add it to this message...
Lol…no…Here.. I just took one..i'm relaxing at home.
Heh. The "Lol" shows I'm young and know the hip lingo the kids use. And the photo speaks for itself! She'll LIKE that, or else I'm not a philandering pro-family GOP congressman from Western New York!
OK, here's her response.
Thanks...so do you always send shirtless pics to women from cl?OK, which way do I take that? Was she offended by the shirtlessness, was it too much of a come-on? Better think of something. Think, think, think... Ah!
Sorry. Its all I had.Let's hope that works. Oh, wait... a response.
I was only jokingEXCELLENT! She's a SLUT! Time to steer this conversation into a SEXY direction.
So when was your lasat date. And how did it go?Oooops! I misspelled "last." Oh well. I AM a Republican. Here's her reply.
A few weeks ago with a coworker's cousin..and it didn't go . I wanted to leave after 10 min...yours?Yay! She wants to know about MY last date. Play it cool, Chris. Let the fishie play with the bait...
Lol. last Monday.. She was not as advertised. Lol.. how do people think you aren't going to figure it out once you see them in person. :)Continued on the next page