Feature: Observations of a Brain Damaged Troll

The Dangerous Art of Battlefield Reporting

Author: Bill Schmalfeldt
Published: March 03, 2011 at 4:19 pm
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WE JOIN THIS FOX NEWS BROADCAST, ALREADY IN PROGRESS.

MEGYN KELLY: ...and with all that's going on in Libya with all the bombs and explosions and sharp things and stuff, we all respect the bravery of battlefield reporters like you, Tom.

TOM TOBIN: Well, thank you Megyn. Admittedly, no bombs have exploded here in Madison yet, but we all know it's just a matter of time until one of these greed-crazed union thugs throws a grenade or sets off a dirty bomb.

KELLY: What's it like there now, Tom, and please... please be careful.

TOBIN: Well, Megyn, at the moment I'd call it nothing less than chaos. Every time the crowd of screaming union thugs sees our camera's red light come on, they gather around us and physically threaten us with their signs and their loud, loud words.

KELLY: Loud words. That's almost as bad as explosions, Tom.

TOBIN:
I'm sorry, Megyn. I didn't catch that. Some union goon behind me, waving a sign saying "FAKE NEWS" came within six inches of hitting me on the head with his sign. I could feel the wind from it, Megyn and this is already a cold, windy day in Madison. And it's hard to hear you with everyone yelling "FOX SUCKS" at the top of their lungs.

KELLY: Are you healing up OK?

TOBIN: You mean from the assault I underwent last week when a union goon thug brushed up against my arm? I thought it was going to bruise there for a moment, Megyn, but I think I'm out of the woods. For now.

KELLY: That's a dangerous looking crowd, Tom. Are you sure you're safe?

TOBIN:
We go where the news is, Megyn. Other networks send their reporters to Egypt and Libya and cover their stories from the safe distance of balconies overlooking the explosions. But we at Fox? We're right here in the middle of it.

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Article Author: Bill Schmalfeldt

There are a lot of people who don't care all that much for this writer. He pokes fun at everything... especially right-wing meatheads who want to run the government to enrich themselves at the expense of others. …

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