Feature: The Paranoid Guide to Better Living

The Paranoid Guide to Better Living: Obama is NOT a Muslim

Author: Curtis Silver
Published: August 19, 2010 at 6:42 pm
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And now your host, Paranoia:

Morons. Morons are everywhere. They clog up public transportation and the highways. They fill up the aisles in the grocery store and they sit in the back of class and talk when not called upon. They are everywhere, and their clear lack of common sense and general education shines through like the sun burning on your back in the desert. So what have the morons done now?

Well, the morons think that President Obama is a Muslim. In fact, 1 in 5 people in America think that Obama is a Muslim. That means that by proxy, 1 in 5 people in America is a moron. If you live in America, this statistic should come as no surprise. That's a whopping 18% of the populace think he's a Muslim. This is up from 11% in March 2009. So either they are making a connection between false hopes of change and being a Muslim or, well, I don't know what else.

It's not like he's given anyone a reason to think he's anything other than a Christian. He goes to church on occasion, and worships his Blackberry. So what's the confusion?

Confusion? No, it's not confusion. It's blatant ignorance and stupidity. Confusion is thinking he gets his suits at JC Penny when they really come from the Men's Wearhouse. That's confusion.

This is America, so it wouldn't matter if he was a Muslim but I don't think that's the issue. I think people are focused way too much on this whole religion thing and Obama, well, he really doesn't give a flying fark. He keeps his faith pretty close to the chest, unlike our last God-fearing President who's imaginary friend Jesus hung out in the oval office and helped him with his Mad Libs.

So why does America even give a shit what religion the guy is? Would this even be a question if he was doing a bang-up job? Is this only a question because the change we were all promised hasn't totally come to fruition? Based on the jump from 11% to 18% I would think that must be the reason. Or, it's because of the whole 1 in 5 people being morons. That's right, I'm talking to you people that are skipping all the three syllable words.

To sum up, per usual, another good quotable from the Twitter stream: "20% of US think Obama's a Muslim; proving the greatest threat to freedom isn't foreign terrorists, but domestic morons." - @JohnFugelsang

 
 

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Article Author: Curtis Silver

Co-Executive Editor of Technorati.com. Twitter @cebsilver. Email at cebsilver@gmail.com.

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