Things That Could Keep GOP Presidential Race Interesting
Now that Gomer Pawlenty has thrown in his tear-stained towel, one is forced to wonder what will happen next in this marathon GOP nominating process to keep us interested. God knows there's a lot of time left, and just about anything can and will happen.
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AT SOME POINT BETWEEN NOW AND THE GOP CONVENTION...
1. Michele Bachmann will start "speaking in tongues" during a TV interview. The dolts on Fox and Friends will laud her for being "multi-lingual."
2. The world will be shocked at the discovery of 13 dead hookers buried in the basement of the Texas Governor's mansion. Perry will blame former President Bush, but DNA testing will show the deaths occurred during HIS administration. Perry will denounce DNA as "scientific trickery" and "science" as "Satan's way of FOOLING us." No charges will be filed.
3. Newt Gingrich will use the word "motherf*cker" in a live, televised debate. More than once.
4. During a Bachmann rally, while she's blasting Obama, someone in the crowd will shout "HE'S A N*GGER!" She will fail to ostracize the shouter and the crowd will break into a chant of "ni-GUHR! ni-GUHR! ni-GUHR! ni-GUHR" as Bachmann smiles and waves.
5. Ron Paul will beat a fellow candidate to death with a sack of gold coins during a debate.
6. Herman Cain will be arrested when it is discovered that the main ingredient for the sausage in Godfather's pizza during his time in charge of the company was "tabby cat."Continued on the next page