Top 10 Ways to Run for President
You would think in a country as large as the USA that there would be at least a few people who would know how to run for President. But polls show that the vast majority of Americans are not impressed with any of the candidates.
Mitch Romney has reluctant supporters. Herman Cain is winning polls, but the media won't take his candidacy seriously. The press is taking Rick Perry very seriously, but he doesn't seem ready for prime time. The actual President, Barack Obama, has a few technical problems, such as the worst economy in 70 years and the disappointment of his previously faithful supporters.
The Republicans who can win a primary probably can't win a general election. Given the state of the economy, an incumbent President shouldn't be able to win a general election, but no mainstream Democrat can challenge him in a primary.
The doors are open for an independent candidate, despite the fact that our system makes it very tough for such candidates.
No matter who ends up in the race, it would be nice if they made us proud. In the spirit of constructive advice, here is my Top Ten list of tips for current and potential Presidential candidates:
10.) Refrain from stating "facts" so obviously false that people spew their drinks through their noses when they hear you talk.
9.) Try not to scare small children and college graduates.
8.) When you are speaking to the lunatic fringe, keep in mind that everyone else can hear you, too.
7.) If Weird Al Yankovich is more charismatic than you, consider not running.
6.)"We're all doomed" is not the ideal campaign slogan.
5.) If you have been in office already, you may need to explain why nothing good happened.
4.) Voters are tired to death of "That's a very good question, but I'm going to ignore it."
3.) People only want lower taxes until you explain which of their services you plan to cut.
2.) The Moon Race was fun. Let's do it again.
1.) Do you really want a job in which your hair turns grey the first month?
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