Celtics Shame the Family Name
The Celtics scored 12 points in the first quarter tonight. They wound up losing 111-91 at home against Memphis, but I stopped watching after that first quarter.
I imagine this is how my parents felt whenever I brought home a bad grade. The potential was there: I was adorable. I was witty. I had brought home A's before. What’s with this C-minus?
I am very disappointed in you, Boston Celtics. You can do better. You can be anything you want, if you just push yourself. Do you want to end up like the our neighbors, the Nets? Because you can go to New Jersey if you want. Yes you can. Because that’s where we'll send you.
This hurts us as much as it hurts you, Celtics. You think we like doing this? We really don’t. We can’t hold our heads high anymore. When people ask about you we have to lie. You’re turning us into liars.
“How are the Celtics doing?’ they ask.
“Oh, you know. They are just going through that phase,” we say. “Typical championship caliber team.” Uncomfortable laughter. “We know things will turn around.”
You want me to be honest with you, Celtics? You’re driving us to drink. Yes. we drink because of you. When we see you act the way you do - like you have all the time in the world to fly straight - we start to blame ourselves. We drown our guilt in Schlitz. But this is your fault, Celtics.
Am I the one procrastinating night in and night out? No, I’m not. You know, it is one thing to leave it all to the last minute, but sometimes it seems like you forget to even do what you need when that last minute comes.Continued on the next page