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Each Thursday, your Crap Archivist brings you the finest in forgotten and bewildering crap culled from area basements, thrift stores, estate sales and flea markets. I do this for one reason: Knowledge is power.

First impression is the best impression, goes the old jungle saying. And China, with its pitiable reputation for the environment, is making ultra-sure that television audiences and spectators don’t get any other impression but the very best in the manner in which they are pulling out all stops for the Beijing Olympics.

Our mother still reminds us to wear our sunscreen when we’re taking a trip, and every time we forget how much we hate it. Perhaps next time we’ll try the same contraption as this Chinese tourist (who was spotted by the Ming Tombs at the Great Wall of China). Plus if we shall ever get stuck in a riot, the tear gas won’t get through.

Beijing, the city of the 2008 Olympic Games, the capital of the People’s Republic of China, stands on the center of politics, economy, communications, science and culture of China. Beijing also calls Peking by the western countries. It is a city full of Tourist Spots.

Beijing, the capital of the People’s Republic of China, stands on the center of politics, economy, communications, science and culture of China. Beijing has the other name Peking, which is a city full of Tourist Spots. Beijing will host the 2008 Olympic Games in August. Welcome to Beijing for the Great Olympics.