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Ever hear of "Whip Appeal?" Apparently it’s a good thing for a woman to have. I learned about this new phrase when I visited the Dating Goddess - her blog is full of great insights about dating over 40. A man recently told the Dating Goddess that she had "Whip Appeal" and so she did research to discover if this was a good thing.

On a first date, a man asked if I was a glass-half-full or half-empty kind of gal. Although a tad trite, no one else had asked directly if I was optimistic or pessimistic. I wondered who would admit to the latter, although I know some are attracted to others who share a negative world view.

A man I dated for a while expressed his attraction to me in an interesting way: “You have whip appeal.” Huh? I’ve heard of men being “whipped” by their woman, and it is not a thing most men would admit to. In fact, a man’s pals may tease him about being “whipped” if he seems too besotted by his woman.

Catherine Ponder, one of the most prominent women prosperity/success writers around, has written numerous books on prosperity. Tthe one I’m reading right now is called Open Your Mind to Prosperity. Chapter 9 is called Prosperity through the Love Concept.

You may answer, “No. A man has to treat me right or he’s out of my life, no matter how handsome he is.” Or perhaps you realize that good looks do buy some good will, often more than is warranted. It isn’t something most of us are proud to admit, but yes, we do allow hunky men to get by with some behaviors we wouldn’t accept from others.

Are you over committed? Does your calendar make your head swim? Do you sometimes feel like you just wish the merry-go-round would stop? I can relate! This world we live in today rushes forward at top speed. My inbox is full. My kitchen table is covered with mail.

You’ve stayed with him because it is magical when you are with him. He treats you like a queen. You have interesting conversations. He makes you laugh. And when you touch — electricity. You know this combination is rare, so you’ve put up with the parts that aren’t great. But your needs aren’t being met.

This morning I received an IM from my most recent ex-beau apologizing for having hurt and disappointed me. It allowed me to have closure, even though I had already released him in my mind and moved on. But actual closure, if done sanely, maturely and with care, has value even though closure just in your mind can be satisfying.

Sometimes you just need a break from dating. Maybe you recently exited a relationship. Or you just had too many bad dates in a row. It happens. Taking a break from the dating scene can really help refresh you, let go of some negative thinking and disengage from bad habits.

Bemoaning to a psychologist friend the tale of a recent particularly jarring breakup, he said, “You need to ask better questions early on.” He was right. I thought I was reasonably good about asking important questions, but I hadn’t asked the one he suggested.