Facebook Ultimatums
First it insults my levels of social aptitude by implying I'm lonely, and now it's offering me ultimatums?!? Well guess what Facebook, I don't play by the rules. I don't even know the rules. I don't even know what game we're playing. But you can bet your binary dollar that I'm playing to win.
Facebook has formed a barrier between me and internet freedom. Standing betwixt me and every climax, preventing my perusal of every punch line, restraining my attempted ascent to the summit of every internet witticism, is the same thing.
Facebook is holding content ransom. The price? A like.
Like some perverted nightclub bouncer, every other page restricts your admittance until you've metaphorically fellated it by clicking the Like button.
Thankfully the majority of these pages offer little in the way of stimulating content, instead specializing in the promise of the exploitation of another's misery. It's clear that many of these pages are spam. If you're vacant enough to click them you deserve every virus you will ever contract, including viruses not confined to the virtual world.
But amongst all the canned meat products, I'm occasionally faced with content that I do actually wish to access. But do I really betray my own morals for a flash-based animation game? No.
Liking something in order to view blocked content is a submission, and I never submit. I do this partly out of spite, it's me getting one over on Facebook. Fightin' the power. Stickin' it to the man. It's another win for the little guy. I also do it because in my twisted logical labyrinth of thought it makes me a better person. Did you click the button to see did you satisfy your own curiosity? You did? Then you're weak. And I am better than you.
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