iPad Absorbs Negative Comments From iTheists
It turns out that not everyone thinks Steve Jobs' birthday ought to be celebrated worldwide by getting families together, eating a turkey, exchanging gifts, then either passing out on the sofa or arguing until someone locks themselves in the bathroom.
Take the iPad: While most people understand that of course it's "magical," just as Jobs explained, and some lined up days in advance just for the chance to gaze upon iPad's glory, there are still some pesky iTheists out there that fail to see the truth. But note how their arguments are without merit:
It's awkward: it is said that without rubber feet, putting it on a kitchen counter, for example, causes it to "slide and twirl" as you try to swipe the screen. Consider, though, that this just makes it easier to slide and twirl into the optimum viewing position for someone standing nearby, so that they may gaze upon iPad's glory, thus bringing understanding of its greatness and expanding the flock. Plus, you can use it to make spin art, which is cool hippie stuff.
Too much screen glare: Apparently, unless you're in a dim room the glare gets annoying, outside in the shade it's bad, and using it in the sun is right out. But that misses the point. iPads aren't meant to be used just anywhere, they belong in a proper shrine, surrounded by velvet blankets, lit (from behind) by candles (this also debunks the "it's too heavy" and "it's too awkward to carry" arguments).
No multitasking: Why do you need to multitask, anyway? When in the presence of an iPad, there's no reason to want to do anything beyond basking in whatever (one) app the iPad as running.
Limited browser: The big complaint here is the lack of Flash support. But Apple has decreed that HTML5 is better, so it is. You'll never miss Flash, unless you want to see a site coded with Flash or a Flash plug-in, of course. But there are only something like 18 kabillion of those, so don't worry about it. Did we mention it's an iPad and Flash isn't necessary?
Horrible virtual keyboard: apparently, some people want to do something called "type" on an iPad. No. Typing not only degrades the experience by imposing your personality on the iPad, it leaves horrible fingerprints all over the glass, making it ugly and tough to see. Therefore, typing is wrong.
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